It takes nerve, I tell ya. Moments ago (the sweat is still fresh on my brow, and my right middle finger is strangely numb) my doorbell rang. 9 times out of 10 this is not a good thing. Either the boy is being a pussy and doesn't want any neighbors to see him letting himself in, or it's one of my annoying neighbors.
It was an annoying neighbor. I opened the door to be greeted by a face full of 2nd hand cigarette smoke fresh from the nasty mouth of the nosy neighbor's husband (the boy calls him, "the mean neighbor.") His son is the one who used to call me faggot, until he finally learned my name, and they shipped him to private boys boarding school. (I bet he really knows what a faggot is now!)
Seems the mean neighbor and his nosy bitch wife won some money at a casino, which is great. They have an abandoned car with a busted out window full of old computer parts, sitting in front of their rented townhome. He no longer drives and lost his job so is forced to work at the gas station and then Red Robin restaurant up the block, so he can walk. Their OTHER car had the license plate 'stolen' by a guy who looks just like the mean guy, and have been driving with a 'lost tag' sign stuck to the back of their Escalade for the past month.
So they could use the money.
So they bought a TV. Their car is an impulse buy on wheels. I saw clothes, electronics, toys, bags and bags and bags of shit. And a 32" TV. Which he asked ME to help him carry. Fucker.
So I did. I went over and helped this asshole carry his brand new fucking TV into his trashed nasty living room feeling, all the while, like the used pathetic loser I am. Anyone else would have said no. Anyone else wouldn't have been so nice to these drug runners so they wouldn't have the nerve to ask. Not me. My way is to be passive-aggressive about it. How, you ask?
He asked me to help carry it. He didn't say don't drop it. On the floor. In the living room. On his foot.
** Update: Went by the mean neighbor's door yesterday and he was perched just inside the door with it open, smoking a cigarette from his wheelchair. Seems that, while installing his surround sound, MN fell from a second story ledge inside his living room and landed flat on his feet, smashing BOTH heels. Ouch.
5 comments:
Niiiiiice. So you weren't all that necessarily neighborly, weren't ya?
How coincidental that my neighbor just went to my house, too, except that it wasn't much of a physical favor he asked from me.
Good goin' on that. Kudos.
Well, the intent was neighborly, I didn;t mean to drop it, sometimes we just do things... Fraud (or somebody) said There are no accidents. Between the power of the subconscious mind and Karma, this guy had it coming, believe me.
Nothing beats bad neighbors. Did you also break the TV?
hehe, just notice that I said Fraud inseatd of Freud.. lol, Freudian slip? No,I think, since the guy hasn't been over here beating me into paying for the thing, it must be working...
I would never go to a neighbors house to ask them to help me lift something. Unless they were very close friends.
He sounds like a real winner.
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