What'chu talkin' bout Willis...


Granted, I'm a slow processor... Not to be confused with an idiot, it takes me a long time to think through my feelings on topics and events... I often don't trust my initial reactions and must take time to think it through... anyway, like I said, slow processor... So I again broach the topic of Gay Marriage. Inspired by Joe.My.God's recent mention of Elizabeth Edwards' support of gay marriage I ask this: Why does government have a say in the issue? My understanding is that the opposition to two people of the same gender being 'married' is an interpretation of the term itself. While one church may see marriage as only between a man and a woman, other churches do not. Who is the government to interpret religious text?


Now I do see the civil aspects of the situation: someone needs to regulate... Take care of the blood work (careful with kissing cousins, etc...) to be sure people know what they're getting into and to be able to profit off the unions... But what if the government performed civil unions, regardless of orientation, and sent it on to the church to be recognized or denied as a true 'marriage'. This way everyone would be sharing the same legal rights but would still be subject to the beliefs of the particular church they choose to attend.


In my mind I do not want the government telling me that my Unitarian Universalist Church cannot perform marriages any more than as a Southern Baptist wants the government telling them that they must perform these religious unions.


To me we are unclear as to what, exactly, the battle is that we're fighting. Is this really a matter of marriages? Are we really clear on the differences? When 'we' talk about legalization of gay marriages, are we telling churches what they must do? Have we jumped into a situation that is unclear in vocabulary, idea and goal?
(side note: I did try to track back to Joe's orignial post, but I'm not sure I did it correctly. Very worth reading if my links don't tke you there directly.)

State of The Confusion


It seems the tide has changed here lately, have my stars aligned? While it scares the shit out of me that things are going so well, it strikes me that I need to remain consistent to my preaching the importance of remaining in the moment and celebrate the good times... So here goes, all that is important:



  • The band: I'm sitting here typing along with the newly-recorded and mixed album from The Crap Rock All Stars... Man I love this shit, and deeply love these guys... We've spent about 24 hours and a (to me) sizable amount recording some of the best rock music you'll find in the past 10 years... While we all come from different angles (me, the uptight anal one; G with his musically genius ear and free form ways and K who walks the line between our personalities and somehow finds a way to get his amazing AMAZING songs to tape.. with kick balls leads and vocals, and all the heart in the world...). And time spent with Matty S this afternoon was eye-opening... a-mazing, and not just for the playing...

  • The friends: God I fell in love with S & C at day one and knew their relationship is the reality of the dream I've always held for two people.. And something worth, truly dedicating my life-force worth, totally throwing myself towards.. While I've long held a vision of how my life was meant to be lead, these guys have somehow put action to my thought and made me such a better person... I can feel it in my heart and see it in my actions... There is no accident in our knowing each other...

  • J: She's somehow hung on through the long haul and now met Dr. Love, who is all too easy on the eyes and seemingly Mr. Super Niceguy... I pray it works out well, but I all I know to be true tonight is that I am so happy to have seen her smile again... I love that girl...

  • The boy- Nothing I can put into words... We both seem to have a better understanding these days.. And I think we are both going through some interesting growth wherein we can and must be more of our true selves while both realizing the true worth of our relationship... It's a fine line at times... I've never loved him more and love him more by the day... So far it's been worth the trip... Day by day we grow...

  • The job: Well, I'm on summer break, so I am, of course, feeling very good about it... although the dichotomy is that the better I feel about it the more I think I should get back to school and throw myself into the area that most fascinates me: classroom management and behaviors disorders... Never thought I'd be there but I know now that that which we most fear is often the area in which we have the most to learn... and embracing that fear has thus far brought me a long way professionally and personally... I mean, who could deal with a gay conservative republican boyfriend better than a behavior specialist?!

What shall tomorrow bring?!?! More of the same I hope...

More Blogger Bullshit

Your Brain's Pattern

Your mind is a firestorm - full of intensity and drama.
Your thoughts may seem scattered to you most of the time...
But they often seem strong and passionate to those around you.
You are a natural influencer. The thoughts you share are very powerful and persuading.

8 Things: A Personal MEME


Okay, Dougie tagged me for this meme, which in all honesty I'd seen, but hadn't considered doing... I try to walk that fine line of keeping it personal without giving away anything, well, personal... And since Doug may be the only reader I have that I don't know in 'real life' (not that you're not real Doug, stop sulking, or are you smelling your breath...) I am trying to come up with 8 things they don't know either (I pretty much tell everyone everything about me... to a flaw for sure; I like to talk about myself.) Here goes:


  1. When I was a kid I'd walk around speaking in nonsensical language, sure that someone would overhear me and be awed with my ability, or magically understand what I was saying. They would be my soul mate and best friend... and stuff...

  2. I got a taste for cigarettes in third grade when I would steal packs from my dad's carton... but more commonly, from his Chevette's ashtray... GAG!!! I finally got caught cause I smoked out of my bedroom window... I think my dad got in more trouble than I as my mom had been trying to get him to quit for quite a while. He apparently remained a closet smoker until about 5 years ago when a heart attack revealed his secret. (Even though I wasn't crystal clear that he was alive, I had to take a shower to wash the smoke off of my own skin before driving 1/2 an hour to the hospital, so my mom wouldn't know... The cycle continues.)

  3. I fart louder and longer than anyone I've met, but many of my friends know this. Sadly I'm quite proud of this ability.

  4. I did not realize there was a state between California and Washington until I'd been teaching for at least 2-3 years.

  5. My dream job growing up was to work in a tiny magazine stand/ shop, much like the ones you'd find on NYC street corners (see above)... Or maybe a walk-up food window.. Something about the tiny space excites me... Maybe when I retire...

  6. My favorite smells, although often awful, are those that remind me of past experiences and people: cigarettes and Seagram's Seven (my dad); cigar smoke and cedarwood, like in a cigar box (my grandfather); lavender and blueberries (my grandmother); bleach (porn shops); very dark coffee (okay, that's enough, but $1 if you can guess...)

  7. Sometimes I do not recognize people I know, even when I've known them for years... i.e.: my boss, my sister...

  8. I believe that in some/ many ways gay men are more advanced than straight men. Eek! Controversy!

You're the debil...

Guess some people I know wouldn't be too surprised to find that I'm the devil...


You are The Devil


Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession


The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.


Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.


What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

A Boy Can Dream

I guess it's time I come clean and let you know who the "boif" really is... His name is Glenn and we've been seeing each other since 2002 when he hit me up on myspace... I'm super excited cause when he's touring with his band I don't get to see him much (although he does call me from the road at least once a day... some might call it an obsession...) but they will be in Charlotte tonight, so we'll get to catch up for a bit (I'm sure the backstage pass is waiting for me there, along with the seating upgrade; he loves to surprise me) Anyway, enough about sweet-ums, err... Glenn... Here's his pic and a couple of videos.... drool....






Summer... It turns me upside down


Ahhhh... First day of summer and I can let out that annual sigh as I settle into doing... well... whatever I want... It was not a bad year by any means, and still loving my new role(s) at work... although I think my general feel of the year was summed up yesterday when I walked into my office to pack a couple things up and heard my co-worker bitching and moaning about the spaces we were being moved into. I don't know, there are just some things I can change and some things I can't and some things I just don't give a shit about. Having to move my office down the hall to a smaller space is just not high on my list of things to bitch about. She's lonely and miserable and I should be more sympathetic, but a year is a long time to listen to someone moan.... It starts to sound like some very, very long death rattle; Starts to bring you down at some point and yesterday I hit the wall.... Whew, what a rant... Anyway, here are my goals for the summer:


  • finish painting my 1st level (damn how many years have I listed that?)

  • finish the new album.... (just love saying that.. hehe...)

  • move in with the boif, and not strangle him in the process... (definitely may want to split that out into two seperate goals later...)

  • read five books (suggestions?)

  • trips: hiking, beach, Baltimore, Asheville (?)

  • work out 4-5 times a week

  • quit smoking (sigh... cough cough...)

  • talk to BS about grad school...

  • study for the GRE

What happens in a gay bar ends up on the internet...

This is one of the sexiest, sweetest, most beautiful and ballsiest things I've seen in a while... (found at keithboykin.com)

zoom in for a better look...

Who are you? Who who, who who....

Everytime I take one of these tests I score differently. I think the mere fact that I cannot self-assess should probably reveal more about my personality than anything, but anyway, here goes: some more blog clogging fodder...

You Are An ISFJ

The Nurturer

You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal.
A good listener, you excel at helping others in practical ways.
In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music.
You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for.

In love, you express your emotions through actions.
Taking care of someone is how you love them. And you do it well!

At work, you do well in a structured environment. You complete tasks well and on time.
You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.

How you see yourself: Competent, dependable, and detail oriented

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Boring, dominant, and stuck in a rut

Identity


This blog sucks. I can't write anything here anymore because too many people I know in 'real life' have found it. Anyway, with that in mind, here's some further nonsense until I get inspired with safe material, or just throw in the towel:
(from shutternick.com)

YOUR REAL NAME: Well, I'm not taking it that far... To support my lack of integrity, here is my online name (not to be confused with my 'Christian' or stage names...): Tay Hota
YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 4 letters of real name + izzle.) Tayizzle
YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color + favorite animal) Ever met someone who didn't know what their favorite color was? Now you have... Let's say, Cobalt Monkey (doesn't really work, does it...)
YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (your middle name + street you live on): Loyd Crossridge
YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (your first pet’s name + street you grew up on): Copper Hilltop
YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name + first 2 letters of your first name): Hottay
YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (second favorite color + favorite alcoholic drink) Green Manhattan
YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (your parents’ middle names): Loyd Margaret
YOUR GOTH NAME: (black + the name of your pet): Black Copper
YOUR ARABIC NAME: (second letter of your first name + third letter of your last name + fourth letter of your middle name + second letter of your moms maiden name + third letter of you dad’s middle name + first letter of a siblings first name + last letter of your mom’s middle name): Atyaokt

The tag part — whoever wants to do it. Just let me know so I can read it, but I’m probably already subscribed to your blog and I’ll find out eventually anyway.