100 Day Rant

I quit smoking 100 days ago today. After 12-14 years of addiction I have put down my smokes for good, and I don't miss them a bit. Last night the boy and I ran into a friend I have not seen in years and in talking with him we found that he and his wife, after watching their daughter grow for the past two years, have started smoking again. Upon absorbing this revelation the voice of my evil twin popped up to remind me, "hey, he's a together guy; if he can smoke, surely you can smoke too." After three-plus months the most important skill I've gained is shutting that self-destructive voice down. I know the origin of this voice (addiction and lack of esteem), the intent of this voice (resistance to change, instant gratification and lies) and the danger of this voice (this is the voice of self-doubt and insecurity, responsible for causing me to freeze in the face of change or risk). Recognizing and knowing this voice, combined with strengthening and conditioning my conscious inner voice to affirm my quit allows me to maintain control at difficult times, andnot just smoking related times. The key, I think, is that I'm continuing to figure myself out and, very slowly, take the steps to get where I'd like to be. I seem to be a slow learner and anticipate my arrival to be delayed, significantly.