The Web is full of these people...

One of the creepier sites I've run across lately: Ratzinger Fan Club

And subsequently, one of the strangest and most unexpected places to find an article that really interested me: http://darwincatholic.blogspot.com/2005/09/legends-of-fall.html The gist being, the catholic tradition leads many to fall back on the idea that "bad stuff happens because of the humans who do bad stuff..." Ellen hosting the Emmy's, Gay in the French Quarter, etc... Did these folks ever stop to think that a) these natural disasters happened long before Adam and ever saw this garden? and b) how would our world function without these geography altering events? How would continents be formed, mountains project from the earth, forests be rejuvenated?

Anyway, thought provoking article from a most unlikely source... Can't even admit how I found it.. :)

This is a test

Went out with the girl friend/ stalker last week, yes, for real. She's been on my ass to "go to a movie," "how bout that movie," "what movie ya wanna see?" for weeks, so I folded. I took her for a beer. At least that way I'd get drunk out of it (she has horrible taste in movies). So we went for a beer. I had three, and I wish I could blame that on her. I just like my beer. It was an okay time, but you should have seen the looks. I swear she's the only one in my town that thinks I'm straight. Picture this fag, jeans and a nice thin, plain black tee, and his friend, looks twice his age (swears she's not), with tiny tiny little bangs and big ass gray/ black new yorker (long island, not manhattan) afro hair (she's white).

I must move on as the memory alone is making me sick. I drove back, it takes about two minutes, and she tries to kiss me. Ick!!! I, usually the slow one, dodged her like a cheetah and caught a quick peck on the cheek. She went in and I haven't seen her since. I smoke out front now.

So, just when I dodge that bullet (I'm calling it, "redefining our relationship"), have my new smoking pad out front, guess who buys the townhouse straight across from mine? Straighter than all bartender who I've known for years. Okay, I lied, he doesn't know I'm gay either. Maybe he's heard my drunken rants at his bar when I'm being forced out by a girl with a crush, but, dunno... Actually, I'm barely out to anyone. Mostly my best friends and total strangers. No one in between. So he's out front, she's out back. My boyfriend (and you think I'M closeted?) has two co-workers living on either side of me and will never stay over again. We were practically living together at one point, now he's gone by ten every night. What is the cosmic message here? I was trying to think it was, "come on out we've got you surrounded," but now I'm thinking it's "run away, move... it's easier then facing these people."

Memories...

Was in the hospital yesterday visiting dad, who'd had chest "pressure" most of the day before. With his history of heart problems I was glad he got over there. Turns out it was stress related and not the heart. Good. But in the waiting room I got reminiscing. Here are a couple of my favorite childhood memories that may explain why I was sitting in the coronary unit on a fine Friday afternoon.

• My grandmother passed while I was a junior in college. We traveled to Pennsylvania to attend the memorial and funeral. It was a nice visit, full of emotion, my regret over having chosen to spend my time with TV rather than my beloved grandmother, eating, sharing, claiming property, etc. It was so nice, in fact, that I suggested we stay for another day. They listened! and we did. After a nice extended stay we left very early for our lengthy journey back to NC. We had no idea. The skies broke open, people started driving into each other, traffic stopped, and we sat. My dad stewed. We could all feel it. No one spoke, blinked, sighted, or shifted. Any wrong move would bring forth the wrath, and no one wanted to be the victim (as we all knew, the victim was on their own.) As we sat in traffic, watching the night arrive and the rain fall, I felt a drop on my head. Another and another and another fell from the end of a strap which ran from the roof-rack into the door frame so as to avoid scratching the paint. I was getting drenched, and there was no room to move. I knew I was the one who'd suggested staying longer, so I was not going to be the one to ask to pull over. I sat. I got wet. I didn't say a word. Finally, my mom timidly passed Wendy's embossed napkins over the seat to dry my head. No words were said. Dad fumed, I got wetter. Finally my mom yelled, "pull over!!" "There's no time, we're late as it is," "Would you look at your son?" My dad quickly turned to absorb and dispel this flimsy evidence which would fuel his fury and stubbornness against stopping. There sat his 23 year old first born son staring blankly into his lap with a mound of soaked napkins spread across his head. We pulled over.

• I remember sitting at our kitchen table one time eating tacos (a family fav. before I went vegetarian, and then gay.. thereby cutting out ALL versions of the taco. Now we eat vegi dogs.) As is typical of a 10 year old boy, I envied my dad's use of hot sauce . I saw fit to utilize this unknown red sauce on my own meal, and apparently without prejudice. After taking a bite into this crunchy ball of beefy flames I tearfully explained that it was too hot for me to eat. Turmoil ensued, of course, and I was told, in no uncertain terms, to eat that taco. I'd made it, I'd eat it. I couldn't do it, so my dad hastily grabbed the taco, made a comment about eating it himself (that's the first time I recall using the phrase, "knock yourself out," even if it was only in my head), and jammed it into his mouth. As everyone kind of stared at their plate to avoid the wrath, I watched. His eyes got pink, the milk was drunk, tears came. We had tears! And then the profanity... "This shit is hot!! Oh my god!!" It would be years before I learned the word vindication, but I understood the meaning at that moment.

Someone loves me...

Thank god, I can stop wasting time on feeling sorry for myself (nothing to do today, boyfriend is gone, avoiding my psycho stalker neighbor...) and dear ol' Naked Boy tagged me with this:

7 things I plan to do before I die:

• Drive Highway 101
• Own a bungalow style home
• Write a novel
• Skydive
• Raise a child
• Have a commitment ceremony/ wedding
• Have a tight knit circle of friends

7things I can do:

• Play drums
• Ski
• Run 4 miles (hey, it's a start)
• Overthink anything
• Teach children
• Embrace the smallest aspects of life & living
• Touch all four limbs to the headboard for long periods of time

7 things I cannot do:

• Speak to a group without my face getting red
• Snowboard
• Touch my toe to my nose
• Tolerate hatred
• Come up with seven items

7 things that attract me to the same or opposite sex:

• Hair (less the better)
• Warm smile
• Intelligence (even a little "geeky")
• Nice ass
• Decisiveness
• Humor
• Risk taker

7 things that I say most often:

• Mutha-fucka (Soprano style)
• Ouch baby, very ouch
• Shut up to me
• Why?
• Yeah, you told me (not good...)
• "Hey.." (southern for "Hi")
• Fin'ta (I'm about to...)

7 celebrity crushes:

• Usher
• Toby Maguire
• Chris Martin
• Anderson Cooper
• Glenn Kotche
• Billy Joe Armstrong
• Ian Mackaye

7 people I want to do this to:

• Bob
• Chris
• Donnie
• The Exile
• Charlie
• Brian
• Jim
• Candee