This is a test

Went out with the girl friend/ stalker last week, yes, for real. She's been on my ass to "go to a movie," "how bout that movie," "what movie ya wanna see?" for weeks, so I folded. I took her for a beer. At least that way I'd get drunk out of it (she has horrible taste in movies). So we went for a beer. I had three, and I wish I could blame that on her. I just like my beer. It was an okay time, but you should have seen the looks. I swear she's the only one in my town that thinks I'm straight. Picture this fag, jeans and a nice thin, plain black tee, and his friend, looks twice his age (swears she's not), with tiny tiny little bangs and big ass gray/ black new yorker (long island, not manhattan) afro hair (she's white).

I must move on as the memory alone is making me sick. I drove back, it takes about two minutes, and she tries to kiss me. Ick!!! I, usually the slow one, dodged her like a cheetah and caught a quick peck on the cheek. She went in and I haven't seen her since. I smoke out front now.

So, just when I dodge that bullet (I'm calling it, "redefining our relationship"), have my new smoking pad out front, guess who buys the townhouse straight across from mine? Straighter than all bartender who I've known for years. Okay, I lied, he doesn't know I'm gay either. Maybe he's heard my drunken rants at his bar when I'm being forced out by a girl with a crush, but, dunno... Actually, I'm barely out to anyone. Mostly my best friends and total strangers. No one in between. So he's out front, she's out back. My boyfriend (and you think I'M closeted?) has two co-workers living on either side of me and will never stay over again. We were practically living together at one point, now he's gone by ten every night. What is the cosmic message here? I was trying to think it was, "come on out we've got you surrounded," but now I'm thinking it's "run away, move... it's easier then facing these people."