My dream last night: I had some friends over, unexpectedly. The boy was here, and I didn't want some of my friends to know, so he went in the other room. Gradually I noticed that all my friends were coupled and I felt awkward and jealous. Gradually the friends left, and the boy left as well. I was so sad and walked downstairs to gaze out the window. Apparently I forgot that my front window looked into the diner next door, and there were all of my friends, sitting in their little pairs... And damn if the boy was not sitting sith some fake tan, hoop earring'd fag at the end booth, lookin' so very proud of himself. I could barely see him through the glare on the window, but I'm not positive the guy he was with was totally on his side of the glass.
Anyway, I awoke and stared at the back of his head while he slept for at least 20 minutes. Am I unable to trust anymore? Am I unable to deal with his cheating (even after 6 years?) How did I go from not giving a shit to wondering all the time?
Just a rambling line of monkeyshit.
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2 comments:
That sounds like the beginnings of alot of resentment. I've cheated before and if you have any sort of conscience or care for the person you're with, you simply stop or cut them loose. Thanks for the comment on my blog. I'm picking that book up if it's the last thing I do this year.
Gosh...That's a toughie. If there is no trust then what is there? Trust, in my opinion, is the foundation of a relationship. Without trust, the house will all come crumbling down. Do you have reasons to be suspicious as of lately, or are you just unable to let go of your past issues...I think those are the questions you need to ask yourself.
I hope you can sort through all this...
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