Land of the Spider-People

I swear, if I hadn't spent so much of my life obsessing over the infinite possibilities of places to put my dick I'd be a millionaire. I mean, as far back as I can remember, potatoes, water jugs, the tiny space between my matress and box-spring, holes in the wall, humans (and some only purporting to be so).... Practically anything was fair game. (I speak in past-tense out of a false dignity, not honesty...) THIS is where I spent my think time, not mathematics or (as you can no doubt tell) English classes.

It seems there is a drug for everything these days. Might I have benefitted more from Ritalin or Valium. I've got one for ya.... Find me a pill that specifically quells a 14 year-old boy's urge to come into his window sill to see if he can fertilize spider eggs.... (Don't worry, I think they drowned).