4:20

Today is 4-20, my least favorite day of the year for many reasons: As an educator, and especially as one who works specifically with emotionally and behaviorally disabled students I am hyper-sensitive to school violence and the ongoing threat of copy-cat situations. I know how sensitive and unreasonable these kids can sometimes be, and I know how miserable and unimaginable some of their lives are; it's why I love them. But today, the anniversary of Columbine, Hitler's Birthday, "4:20"... today seems like an especially opportune time for some of our more unstable citizens to shine. I know, I'm still caught up in the frenzy of the VT tragedy, and am hyper-vigilant, but I know this day bothers me every single year I go out to visit schools... I have taken off in the past and hidden my head in the sand but usually, as with today, I just keep my eyes and ears open, hit the bricks and try to do my best to make a change for the better.



*** On the up side, it's these guys' birthday, I'm just sayin':

My Life

Got this one over at Daniel's place. I'm really not sure how friends/ family scored so low, and finances are so high... Musta hit da wrong key somewheres....

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	7.2
Mind:	7
Body:	8.2
Spirit:	6.7
Friends/Family:	4.8
Love:	6.9
Finance:	8.1
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

David Sedaris

Quick note: I got two tickets to David Sedaris this evening. I was hoping to take the boif with a couple friends, but he wouldn't go and one of the friends had to go out of town... So I decided to take JVJ as she's been through a lot lately and thought she could use a night out... She has class so can't make it... I asked my friend S if he'd like to go, even though his partner is the one having to leave town and he said he really would... Don't tell him, but the tickets are second row center!!! woo hoo... Super psyched...

Poodle Power

Dreamt last night about a mangy old poodle, overgrown and dirty, playing alone in a puddle filled parking lot. He had obviously been lost, as he was still wearing the frayed remnants of a leash and collar. He had moments of happiness as he jumped and frolicked in the small muddy puddles but was primarily walking in circles looking for something to do.

The dream struck me as an obvious analogy for relationships, as I was watching the pup from a car I was riding in with the boif. While things in relationships are not always perfect and we go through periods of doubt and concern there is no doubt that, for me, being single is much the inverse; I spend most of my single time doubting myself and looking for relief, only finding joy in small moments of empty happiness.

I'm grateful that I'm in a place right now where joy and happiness outweighs the hesitations and red flags I naturally lean towards. I'm grateful for my friends and boif who bring me so much happiness and happy that I feel okay with taking it day by day and try to stay in the moment as much as I can. I don't feel tied to this relationship anymore, but feel as if I'm a willing participant... That makes all the difference.