C'mon get happy...


Fact is I prefer to write when things are not going so well and the fact is that right now, at this particular moment, things are really going very very well. If they were going perfectly I'd not be craving a cig at 9:30 am, I'd not have a tinge of a headache from the drinks and sleeping pill last night (is that why that stickers on the side of the bottle?) and I'd have more time to spend with friends who have been very good about staying in touch....

BUT.... The happy pills have kicked in, the boy is in the other room watching TV (he's usually here these days), I had another fun filled (and sushi filled! yum...) night with S&C last night, and even squeezed in a couple hours of drumming on Friday. Life is good... It could change at any moment, I know, and I'm prepared in that I'm living for today, and living without regret. :) Happy times... We all need them now and then.... (Quote from some cheesy commercial I saw last night: "Live for today, learn for tomorrow." dig...)

New Year's Revolutions


Everyone seems to be starting out their New Year's posts by pointing out how they hate New Year's Resolutions. Fine, but to me this is a logical time to look back on the previous year and take note of where we have improvements to make. Here are my resolutions for the new year:


  • Continue to develop and cultivate my friendships. In the past I have gotten lazy and focused on a friend or two at a time. I'm not out for the number but in my quest to build true community I know the responsibility lies on me to pick up the phone, drop by and spread invites.

  • Get to work on time. With my 'itinerant' status (that does NOT mean sub, by the way...) it is easy for my to slip into work a bit late from time to time. I would be more effective if I was there on on time.

  • Continue to commit myself to healthy living. Specifically: set a new quit smoking date and continue going to the gym at least 4 times a week.

  • Record with the band and play out at least twice a month, preferably to an audience (novel idea).

  • Commit myself to my relationship with the boy, while continuing to take it moment by moment and do not over analyze.

  • Be happy... Live out loud... Laugh... "Be the person your dog thinks you are..." (I know, I need to get out of these elementary schools...)

  • Travel... That's what the second job is for... Get out of debt and get out of the house...

Sláinte...

New Year Brings New Hope (with Reminders)


Great New Year's gathering last night raised my hopes for an upcoming year filled with love, friends, growth and satisfaction. Headlines this morning, coupled with the boy disappearing for the day (we've spent nearly every moment of the past week together) brought me back to earth and reminded me to take things slow. I'm still hopeful, although am back to cautiously optimistic. Still having these minor, but daily, anxiety attacks... sometimes I can pinpoint the origin but many times it's much more generalized... Maybe it's the feeling of being alive? Haunted? Hesitant? Hopeful? Fear?
Moment by moment and day by day we build our lives...
(notice new bush countdown clock below...)